Today is the day

Yesterday, I had a pre-op appointment at the hospital.  After getting registered, they took me in to the lab to wait for a nurse to go over the details of the c-section I will have today.  I sat down and realized I am sitting in the same chair, in the same lab where I found out I miscarried Gloria.  And now, here I am as life has come around full circle- I was sitting in the exact chair exactly 2 1/2 years later with a very pregnant belly.

The pregnancy has gone by fast with fostering a newborn, work and a preschooler. It's been a whirlwind of life since the day I finally had the 2 lines on the pregnancy test so, to be honest, there hasn't been a lot of time to process the blessing that has been knit in my womb.

Then all of a sudden today came and I am overflowing with praise, joy and excitement.  The pregnancy went fast, but the longing for this baby boy was long.  3 years shouldn't seem that long, but when you hope every month for 36 months and are disappointed every month... it feels like a lifetime. 

God was very clear with us to name our new baby boy Samuel.  It was no surprise when we found out the meaning of his name.  "God has heard."  

²⁰ So in the course of time Hannah became pregnant and gave birth to a son. She named him Samuel, saying, “Because I asked the Lord for him.”   
Samuel 1:20

It's been hard to celebrate because I automatically think of others that are/have struggled with infertility or pregnancy loss.  Why am I the one that gets to be blessed?  I feel guilty rejoicing when others are mourning.  I don't know why I was blessed with this child when others are not, but I do know God hears our cries and desires of our hearts.  It's the trusting and waiting in Him that are hard.  

Today I am choosing to celebrate and rejoice that God decided to bless me in his perfect timing with this new life. However, as I celebrate I pray for those who have this same desire that they would know God has heard their cry too.  

²⁷ I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. ²⁸ So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord.”             
Samuel 1: 27-28 

Happy Birthday Samuel!