Hi, My name is Lisa and I am needy.

At this time last year I was soaking my depression in a glass of red wine or a nice vodka martini.  I had several moments of cussing out God and refusing to let him love me through the pain.  I didn't want to spend time with anyone except my friends on my favorite TV shows and they were expected to make me laugh and not talk about pregnancy or babies (I may have thrown pillows at the TV).  Then, there were these people... these stupid people that kept pursuing me. They would relentlessly check in with me regardless of my attempts of avoidance.  Some would speak truth, some would just listen, some would pray, some would literally pick me up from my house and take me away as I wallowed in my deep dark pit.  It was a low and I was humbled many times.

I needed people.

Everything in my human flesh wants to resist this very thing.  Isn't that what we are brought up knowing and taught in our society?  You have it together when you can do things on your own and have things under control.  You are failing as a person when you accept help, or worse off, ask for it.  You are successful when you can do everything on your own, help others and still manage to have all your laundry done.

Newsflash:  IT'S A LIE.  

Things have dramatically improved since last year.  I can honestly say that God healed me of my depression. I was finally able to hear him and let him love me.  I was able to hear His calling on our life to be foster parents and in our obedience came blessing and provision (in more than one way).  So, things are better.  I don't need people now that I am better, right?!  Wrong.

I still need people.

Even in the midst of chaos, Joel and I know that we were meant to be foster parents.  Not just that, but we were called out to be missionaries in our own community.    In all honesty, I was excited there was a way to be a "missionary" without having to raise support because that would mean I would have to be dependent on people and I want to do it on my own.  Guess what?  I can't.

I need people.

I was sharing our story about fostering with someone I don't know the other day.  She looked at me and said, "You are a saint!  What you are doing is real saintly."  HA!  I think I literally laughed in her face.  She obviously doesn't know me very well.  The truth is, we wouldn't be foster parents if it weren't for the people in our life.  We may not have had to send out support letters to go overseas, but we were quick to learn that we still need support of all kinds.

We need our prayer support team, knowing they are lifting us and our little foster babe up in prayer.
I need the delicious meals that have been  prepared for us when I don't have time to do it myself.
I need people to watch my kids during my doctors appointments.
I need the grace and flexibility my boss has given me at work.
I need my mom to help me clean my house
I need my friends that I can call and cry to when I am worried about the life of the little one we are caring for
We needed the money and car that was so graciously given to us
We need people checking in with us just to see how we are doing

I just had a friend say, "You know I am not going to let you sulk in your dark bedroom when your foster baby leaves."  And I had to realize, yes!  I will need you to make sure I don't do that.

I need her.

It's humbling.  Again, everything in my flesh wants to say, "Oh, thanks for asking but we are fine."  But it would rob people- it would rob them of the blessing and the use of their gifting and I would be left empty and useless.  If I am left empty, then I have nothing to pour out to others.

Sometimes we get so frustrated when we feel like God is not answering our prayers.  Could it be that sometimes God is answering our prayers through others and we are not allowing them to help us? God created us for community and relationship. Time to swallow the pride, be humbled, ask for help, accept help... need others.

You need people.
People need you.