To the Infertile and the Grieving,

I have only had a very small glimpse of what it is like to struggle with infertility and pregnancy loss.  My son was a bit of a surprise, so never in my mind did I think I would ever worry about not being able to conceive again.  I was actually worried about the opposite; getting pregnant unexpectedly.  The worries of money, time and space were at the forefront of that anxiousness.  I can't even imagine thinking those thoughts again, especially after knowing others who desire nothing more than a little one to fill their arms.  This is for you:

I will not forget you. 

I will not forget the pain that comes every month when your dreams are crushed again seeing one line on a pregnancy test.  I will not forget the difficulty of hearing another person getting pregnant so easily or unexpectedly....wanting so badly to rejoice with them, but hurting so deeply that it's not you. I will not forget the vicious monthly cycle of trying so hard not to focus on what could be, then getting your hopes up only to get let down.  I will not forget the avoidance of Facebook or other social media because you just can't stand to see another pregnancy picture, newborn picture or announcement.  I am sure you have felt a conspiracy against you since everywhere you go there seem to be pregnant women; at the grocery store, the park, restaurants, church...even on TV.  And it's as if you keep running in to babies or children that would be right around the same age as the one you lost.  I am sorry for the comments and questions of others that trigger your loss; "When are you going to have a baby?"  "How many children do you have?" "I think your child needs a sibling, don't you think?"  It's a challenge, but we need to give grace to those who lack the knowledge of our experience. I will think about you every time I hear a pregnant woman complaining about how hard it is to be pregnant, not realizing the depth of the miracle and blessing being knit in her womb. 
I will think of you every Mother's Day when it's the focus of every church service, advertisement, radio talk show, news and more. 

I won't just move forward from this phase of my life and be ignorant to the fact that there are empty arms everywhere I go.   

We, as women, are all mothers.  God has created us with a physical, emotional and spiritual intuition to take care of children... whether you bear your own or not. 

I pray for you.
I think of you.
I will not forget you.


"Rejoice with those that are rejoicing.  Mourn with those that are mourning."