In 5 weeks I have had a lot of conversations with people, both strangers and friends alike, and I almost always get the same series of questions. Part of me wishes I had copies of the answered questions in my diaper bag to hand to each person... wouldn't that catch them off guard?!
Here are the most popular FAQ's:
How did you get in to Foster Care?
We started feeling called to fostering over a year ago when we started learning the shocking statistics of abused and neglected children in our very own community. We were also feeling like God was asking us "If you were a missionary in Fort Collins, CO... how would your life look different?" Fostering was our answer to that question.
For more on that, read my post "Called Out" therussfam.blogspot.com/2012/05/called-out
What is the process like to become a Foster Parent?
It took us about 9 months for our certification to come through. It included:
- an initial orientation with the foster care recruiter for our county
- Training classes that were twice a week for 5 weeks
- Home Study= series of interviews, background checks, home inspection, medical evaluations, reference checks, etc.
Did you get to choose your baby?
No, foster parenting is not like picking out a Compassion Child. You don't get to flip through a book to find the cutest child and tell them when you are ready to start. We did get to choose an age group (0-3yrs) because we wanted to keep birth order with Isaiah. It's not about us getting a child that we want, it's about finding a family that would be best for the child. If we have an opening at our house than we get a phone call when there is a child removed from their home. We got our little guy 2 hours after the phone call.
Adoption Questions:
A lot of people confuse foster care with adoption. We have had several people assume that we are adopting him. There are "foster-to-adopt" homes that only take children if they are possibly up for adoption. We are just a foster home, although we are not closed off to adopting at some point if it's the right fit for everyone. We didn't get in to foster care to adopt, we did it mainly to love on abused and neglected children in our community and minister to the birth parents. I have a lot more to say about this, but I will save that for a different post...
How long will you have him?
We don't know. Every case is a little different- sometimes you can have them overnight, sometime you can have them for 18 months. It depends on several things like if they have family willing to take them at some point, if the parents do what they are supposed to get them back or if they get transferred into an adoptive home. We will probably have our little guy for at least 6 months... but again, things could change next month so we have to be ready for anything.
Isn't it going to be hard to give him back?
Of course it is! I get attached to dogs that I dog sit, not alone a little baby that is like our own. I knew that it would be hard though. It would be easier to put up some guards and try not to fall in love, but that is pretty much impossible when you see a little miracle like I have swinging next to me right now. He deserves 110% of my love every day. We have a short time with him, so I am willing to sacrifice my heartbreak for his feeling of full love and nurture while he is under this roof. I can't think too much about what happened to him in the past before he was with us or about him leaving because I wouldn't be able to live in the moment and do what I need to do to love him now. I do feel sorry for my parents and all the others investing in him, that didn't necessarily sign up for this that are going to have their own heartbreak after he leaves. Thanks for loving him anyway!
Was the mom on drugs? Did they abuse him? Did she not want him?
We are under STRICT confidentialty with each child we get in, so there aren't a lot of questions I can answer. I can't tell anyone what happened to him, what his parents did/didn't do, I can't share pictures publicly or why he is such a miracle... I can't really even process out some of my emotions because I can't say everything that I want to. I am blessed to have Joel and a good caseworker to talk to...but that's about it.
I can say that children don't get removed for minor things or a "one time" incident. The majority of children get removed because of neglect, abuse and/or substance exposure.
Are you Crazy?
Yes. See my last post.
My hope is that we would inspire and encourage others to become foster parents in their own community. If you are interested in fostering feel free to contact me and I would be happy to answer any other questions that you have from a "foster-mom" perspective.
3 comments:
Lisa,
It's been fun to follow your journey with this. My fiance and I are moving toward the fost-adopt program in CO as I've had a heart for it for a very long time. We've talked to lots of people, I read about it incessantly and we've been through our initial "what are you getting yourself into" meetings. Since we're not married until next month, we're in a holding pattern on the classes and home studies but are so excited to take on the challenge when the timing is right. All of that to say that it's been great to read about the process from someone I know (even if it's been 8 years), dealing with it in CO. :) Thanks for sharing!
I get warm fuzzies when I think about you on this journey. It's such a great thing you're doing. I'm proud to call you my friend!
8All very well said Lisa!
Post a Comment